Sunday, 10 August 2014

Travelling by local trains

This blog seems deserted! Neither does the very busy blogger have time to write here, nor do the many,many followers have time to pay a visit! :P I hope none of you missed reading my posts. Okay, who am I kidding!? :D I merely have 2-3 followers, and they happen to be my family members, so I guess its kinda obvious why they follow me, considering my blackmailing abilities :P Anyway I could go on and on with my embarrassing poor jokes, so I should probably start with the topic. If it isn't obvious enough, I'm going to be talking about the (very)^infinity (in)famous Mumbai locals! :P hell yeah, I just used maths to describe, so maths is helpful, stop complaining kids :P Sheeesh. I must stop typing out whatever comes to my mind.
Okay, back to the topic. Mumbai locals! You can't survive without them and more so, you can hardly survive if you're travelling by one of them :P such is the speciality and uniqueness of our local trains. I consider myself highly lucky that my college is towards Kalyan side and not towards CST! I probably wouldn't have been here writing all of this had my college been towards the CST side :P (by the previous sentence I mean I probably would've been busy discovering some way to apparate like in Harry Potter!) So yeah, all of you people who have to travel towards CST and you travel via the railways, hats off to you. No seriously you're a God , you deserve a Nobel prize for every time you travel. If you happen to be a person who doesn't travel via the local trains which function towards CST, consider yourself lucky. The reason? The rush, it seems like all of the people need to get on the train like there's no other train after it, they even go as far as to sit on the roof! I seriously don't understand the desperation. Everybody has to go for work, I understand, but is it worth risking your life? Haha, it sounded as if I'm asking you to stop working because its dangerous xD anyway you get what I mean right? People try getting on running trains, they suddenly turn into superquick ninjas and quickly get on through the next door.
You'll get to meet some peculiar people(who will make you go facepalming yourself throughout the day :P) when you travel by the Mumbai local trains, I've just made it easy for you by making a list :P Here it goes.
1. The standing people: These people absolutely louvve to stand near the door, with their faces facing outside(does that remind you of some animal who does the exact same thing? Gdo? Odg?). These are the same people who will stand near the door even when they don't have to get down! And its not even that there are no seats available, there are plenty. When your station comes up and you go towards the door, they'll block your way , and go blech-ing all the time as if you're the one who's creating a mess.
2. The fighters: The army/police could use these. These ladies are an extremely frustated lot. They could get angry over anything, and start a fight. I've seen ladies fighting over the most trivial stuff, like someone accidently stepped on them and also sorry, they'll start their filibuster. And what when the person who stepped one them is one of their kind? Woah! You'll get to see a realtime WWE fight! Ladies pulling eachother's hair, hurling abuses and stuff :( These ladies just need a chance to start fighting. Also, these are the very people who will shout at the standing people :P
3. The creepy staring game contestants: These are the funniest lot but quite creepy too. These people start a staring game with you, the only thing is that you won't know it until later! They'll look at you constantly. If you think giving them a questioning look or giving them a cursory smile will stop them, then you're wrong, you'll just end up looking like a smiling-for- no-reason idiot!  They won't stop unless you miraculously see another empty seat at the other end. I don't know if all of them do this on purpose or they're just in a trance! But I've experienced that when we sit in a group and talk, these people not only stare at us but also eavesdrop into our conversations and smile occasionally at our jokes. Like why? Why makes us so uncomfortable? :P
4. The talkative talkers: from the name I guess its kinda obvious. These people suffer from an undiagnosed verbosity, they go blabbering on and on for the entire journey. It doesn't matter if the person beside them is a stranger, they still will want to start a conversation. And most of these ladies have such loud voices, if you're studying for a test, you won't be able to because the constant chattering will make you go nuts. They'll go on and on without sensing the glares that people direct at them or without noticing the reluctance to talk or disinterest shown by the copassengers.
5. The deaf and dumb: These people irritate me the most, and you'll not only find them in trains, they're everywhere. Trains,buses, roads everywhere! These people cannot function properly without putting cords in their ears. When you ask them to shift, they'll look at you as if you're the one who's dumb. They'll make you repeat it twice and then realize that they have cords in their ears. Don't they realize that having cords in their ears deafens the outside noises, which could be dangerous! I've seen people crossing roads and leaving vehicles honking and jerking their breaks because these idiots couldn't hear them coming! I'm sorry if you're one of them, but you're supposed to be ALERT. There are so many cases of thefts, kidnappings, now obviously tell me who will they target? Someone who's alert enough to put up a fight or someone who's in his own world and deaf to the outside noises? If you're one of these, please please please refrain from using cords to listen to music while in public places! Okay, this is getting serious, but I seriously felt like mentioning this :)
6. The (deadly) super quick ninjas: All of us, at some point, become one of these. But the ones I'm going to talk about are deadly dangerous! These are ones youll see when you're about to get down at your destination. The very deadly ones get on the train when it's still running. The relatively less deadly ones will try getting on the train just as you try getting down. Usually if there are many people getting down at the same station as you, and if you're amidst the crowd, the people at the back will make sure you are pushed outside the train. But if, just if you're somehow at the end of the crowd which is getting down, you're doomed. Just as the majority of crowd gets down, the overwhelming crowd of people who want to get on start barging in and in no time, you're pushed right back into the train. This is experience talking BTW :P I've experienced this and I had to travel upto the last station and back towards my station. Fortunately the next station was the last one, so I didn't travel too far. But the approaching nightmare I was about to face was that after the last station, the train would now run towards CST!! Some helpful ladies helped me get down and asked ne to get on the adjacent handicapped compartment so that I could get down at the next station(my destination) without any problem. Had I stayed in the same compartment, I could've gone back and forth from CST to the last station for the whole day :P
7. The flying ninjas: I briefly mentioned these in the above category, these are the scariest and deadliest lot! They jump.. No they fly into the train even when its still speeding. The people who travel towards CST know these kind and make the area near the door sparse so that these flying ninjas don't bang into the someone! They could audition for George of the jungle franchise :P or at least get a job as stuntswomen xD I'm seriously scared for this lot, its really dangerous getting on the running train!
8. The sitters? : Hehe, I'm sorry I couldn't come with an innovative name for this kind. These are those ladies who SIT, yes they SIT. But not on the seats, on the floor!! They sit on the floor adjacent to the door and have so much of luggage(most of the times!), they conveniently put their luggage near your feet when you're about to get down , so instead of getting down on your feet, you go flying and end up on your head! And all this, while there are many empty seats! I've once asked them to sit on the empty seats, but just got a blank stare in return.
9. The litterers: these people think that the train is a litter box. They throw banana peels, plastic wrappers, papers, and what not on the train floors. Though you may get fined for littering, that's what the instructions( in all languages) on the walls suggest, I have never seen anyone getting fined. People simply don't stop. Also, I'm against people who throw stuff outside the train :| Whenever I've stopped my friends(sorry P,P) from doing that, I've got answers like it's biodegradable. Okay, on my next visit to your place, I'm gonna throw a banana peal on the floor and justify giving the same reason :P Littering is littering, no excuses.
10. The (sometimes)rowdy gangs: We, college going girls, are one of these. The rowdy doesn't apply here though, we're nowhere near the rowdy ones :P We sit together and crack jokes and laugh hysterically during the journey, and maybe sometimes irritate the other passengers :P But the rowdy ones, they are a usually in a group . They think they're the boss. They reserve seats, and won't let you sit on their seat. They basically think they own the rights to that particular seat because they happen to sit on it everyday. Huh.
Okay. I hadn't planned on writing so much. I actually came up with 10 types! I actually forgot to mention one more type. You'll obviously not only meet the above 10 types, but also some nicer and sane people (Yaye! I'm one of them! :P) All in all, train journeys are an adventure, and I'm glad I'm a part of it! I always have awesome stories to tell everyday!
P.S. Phew! It felt good getting back to writing though this is the first time I took about a week to write a post while usually I take just a day :P
Have a good day! :)